I have been spending hours on it. I put my hands up. I stalked my idols. I hosted rooms.

Clubhouse is heaven to someone like me. I found it very safe to ask questions, because I would not see the reactions of anyone. I never asked a single question back in college, or in big meetings. I just could not stand the thought of being looked at. I would hunt fo the slightest physical movements to put myself down. On Clubhouse? There are zero visual cues to throw me off. I can just ask away.

But I am a little worried. I think I am allowing parts of my desires to run amok with Clubhouse. This is the first time I feel I am being listened to, that I might be okay, that I might be cool. I felt great whenever I gained new followers. It’s a cycle, where I felt when I spoke more, I was rewarded with more follows, and hence I wanted to speak more.

And this has been the latest of many reminders of “life is unsatisfactory.” I yearn, I gain; I gain, I yearn.

This has also been yet another opportunity to look closely at my tendencies, the mental emotional loops, and the stories I repeat to myself.

Clubhouse amplified me for me to hear me.

While I am waiting to be picked, I want to share with you what I wish I did when I first joined Clubhouse.

1) Write down the names of 10 people you admire.
If this doesn’t work, write down 10 products / services that you love, and find the people behind them
2) Follow them + the one nominated them
3) Write down the 1 question you want to ask each one of them

+1
Always put your hands up. ALWAYS. 

Oversharing:
10 Names + Qs:
1. Stephen Wolfram
What tools that don’t exist do you need for your work?

2. Austin Kleon
What’s the question you want to explore but haven’t yet?

3. Peggy Chan at Grassroots
What is an ingredient you think is underrated?

4. Hayao Miyazaki
Coffee / tea?

5. Sidra Qasim & Waqas Ali at Atoms
A “tool” you have fallen in love with recently.

6. Tobias Lütke at Shopify
What makes a coach good?

7. Matt Mullenweg at WordPress
I don’t code. How can I apply the concept of “open source” to my life? 

8. Devin Reed at Gong
What is the color of your fav jacket. Why?

9. Esther Perel
Pls share a paradox that intrigues you. 

10. NiQ Lai at Hong Kong Broadband
Pls share a story from the journey of building culture at HKBN

There are three things that would make me anxious.

1. Crypto, specifically being late in social coins such as Roll for my creative endeavours.
2. Clubhouse, or specifically being late in the evolution of creative audio
3. Pseudonymity on blockchain.

People say don’t worry about being late. Just have good content.

I know.

But just thinking about them make me anxious.

I was late in the Twitter game. Instagram game.

I have tried very hard to make content on LinkedIn. Clearly, I am not that good at it.

So I don’t want to be late. I want to be there when the tide rises.

I have decided that I am a creator.

I don’t want to be late.