The US and Israel bombed Iran and took out its leaders. Iran is retaliating. The Strait of Hormuz is closed. The world is in chaos. Prices have gone up so much at the petrol station (oh, I am so British!). It went from GBP129.9 to 142.9 in a week. Flights back to HK have reached as high as HK$53,000 because Iran is bombing the GCC, including Dubai, which has caused the number of routes from the UK to HK to be reduced dramatically.

Many are screaming about Trump’s lack of a plan, or that they are being reckless, or that they are being led by Israel.

At the same time, there are also voices claiming that this is a 5D chess Trump is supposedly playing—that this is part of a grand plan to corner China and Russia.

Obviously, I don’t know what’s real. All I know is that coverage from either side tilts completely toward its own position. Most on the left refuse to even entertain the idea that there is a 5D grand plan, or that what Trump is doing might be intentionally deceptive in the fog of war. Most on the left will not even debate the possibility of a grand plan, which I find quite frustrating, because I want someone to go deep, explore what is possible, and thoroughly debunk whatever deserves debunking.

Similarly, the other side refuses to admit any wrongdoing or acknowledge any problems with what might be happening. They do not allow any negativity toward the grand plan, and that is very frustrating too. It is almost impossible to be perfect and flawless in any war, let alone one that seems so complex and global.

Let me go deeper for my future self to relitigate this:
5D plan: China and Russia are the real final bosses. The US needs to reduce the role of Iran in order to control China. The US’s actions toward Iran and Venezuela are all part of a plan to strangle China’s sources of oil and force them back to the negotiating table. Trump’s team has been executing on this plan since his first term, including his decision to leave the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA), also known as the “Iran nuclear deal,” to give the US a path to justify whatever actions they felt were necessary, along with other moves directed at China.

TACO – Trump Always Chickens Out. The left loves to use this to tease Trump. I struggle to accept that him backing down, or changing course, is simply a bad thing. History shows that many countries went to war almost automatically because of entrenched positions or the need to honor agreements. The most ironic thing is that the left mocks Trump for backing down—almost implying he is weak, or that a strong leader should never back down—which is such an outdated (and almost misogynistic) way to measure strength. Should leaders never back down? This is such a macho framing that I find it ironic when the left uses it to criticize him. If it reflects the ability to change and admit defeat, isn’t that a good thing? Well, no, because Trump can do no good.

Illegal war – to me this is the biggest issue. Trump has ignored the rules and etiquettes of modern cooperation too often and too recklessly. It is difficult to ignore the evidence that Trump lacks a clear and sufficiently moral internal compass to guide his actions toward the good of others and the world. He has been selfish, unkind, nasty, and ruthless. This is a real source of concern. I must add that I am looking at him individually. I do not find comparing him to other presidents or politicians meaningful. Many politicians—or humans in general—are flawed. It is not about how good or bad he is in relative terms. It is about his morality as a very powerful person in the world.

Who are we to judge what is right or wrong about Trump’s plans? I don’t know why anyone would think it is sensible for us, as outsiders, to make firm judgments about any of the things we see on the surface of a clearly very complex global situation. I find almost all pundits superficial and borderline irresponsible. They latch onto talking points and do not seem to want to go deeper.

At the same time, Omicron is ravaging Hong Kong. Unlike previous waves, COVID feels so intimate this time around. There are people around me catching it.

I have found myself stressed out, anxious and short tempered. On the positive side, I have been paying closer attention to myself. I have become more self aware, more mindful.

It is interesting to observe how I have been reacting to such stressful circumstances. The last time the world was as confusing as today was probably during 911. I remembered I woke up in the morning of 912 genuinely wishing everything was just a dream.

I am noticing more nuanced emotions. In the midst of hopelessness, I sensed the undercurrent of helplessness more precisely. I was able to pinpoint more accurately at why I lost motivation in doing anything- it was because nothing seemed to make a difference to the world events. I also noticed my desire to search for anchors. The serenity prayer grounded me surprisingly well!

I was also keenly aware of what wasn’t working. “To bounce back” didn’t resonate well with me. I did not think it was a right goal for me to try to return to the previous states of mind. Instead, I preferred how Ray Dalio coped with the loss of his son. They did not try to bounce back. They dove in and tried to embrace whatever mourning threw at them.

In the months after his son’s tragic and sudden death, Dalio and his family devoted daily morning hours to wrestle with trying to keep and let go of his son. They leant into the emotions together. They felt each other’s emotions deeply, bluntly, painfully. They dwelled on what it felt to empathize with oneself and each other. They exposed themselves to the full range of emotions, from fragility to softness, from despair to nostalgia, from guilt to grace, from regrets to serendipity.

Lastly, no matter which introspective path I took, I always ended at the same question, “Am I using my time the best way possible?”

I am glad we can confidently say yes. We are putting all our money and effort into trying to educate better. I am devoting all my time into counselling adults to be better leaders of themselves and other human beings.

I will work even harder in advocating for better parenting. I will be more fearless and turn my conviction on self mastery and self maintenance into something truly useful. I will challenge myself to get into emotionally charged topics and conversations, and work as hard as I can to stay calm, be kind, and be useful. I will push myself to get involved in the messiness of human communities. I will overcome my tendency to isolate myself. I will engage and participate. Dope-Dad WhatsApp groups and NFT discords, here I come!

And hopefully this current round of madness will prepare me well for whatever suffering “existence” will bring me next.