Grouchy Musings of a Grump

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As I wilt into old age, I have a few life goals left. One of them is “Don’t be grumpy”.

Age brings knowledge; age also brings experiences. Wisdom forms when knowledge and experiences marinate.

When wisdom meets impatience, which is the unwillingness to entertain with those who do not yet have the knowledge, experiences and wisdom of life, wisdom is grumpy.

There is a saying in Chinese, “I have eaten more salt than you have eaten rice!” Older folks would use this to prove the point that they know more. I don’t know why we would always let them go when they said stupid shit like that. I must admit though, I am very eager to use that to ask young people to shut those holes in their faces. *

Wisdom is grumpy also because it only sees irrational (and or non-existential) reasons to change its viewpoint, since the probability of wisdom being correct is probably high.

The more graceful way to describe wisdom is “crystalized knowledge”. Young blood’s lack of knowledge is respectfully called “fluid knowledge”. Crystals are better than fluid; Crystalized Carbon worths more than fluid carbon; my wife likes me more if I give her diamonds, and not a cup of carbon.*

Wisdom realises that it is actually and mostly irrelevant. An old lion can definitely talk a great game, “One time, at hunting camp, I …” But when a deer shows up, it will never be able to compete with the younger lion with six pack abs.

The only reason why the young lion would let the old lion do nothing and eat the deer is purely out of respect. Respect is animal’s greatest invention to reduce embarrassment. *

Wisdom is not accurate. It overestimates our relevance to others, and underestimates the onset of our stubbornness.

In order to be less grumpy, I will listen and count to 10 before I speak. No, I don’t plan to count how long I speak.

In order to be less grumpy, I will accept new ideas, even if the new superfood and the new longevity drink your own pee life hack might add another 2 years to my life. (Great, that’s another 5 percent, if I die tomorrow. Thank you!)

In order to be less grumpy, I will joke more, don’t commit, and do zero house chores.

In order to be less grumpy, I will adopt mindful laughing yoga.

* I am mindfully aware of my own rants






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