3 things I Stole from a Therapist

And I am applying them at work.

Dr. Lee is a renowned family therapist. I took her courses because they offered live sessions for us to observe.


A wife complained about her husband’s lack of involvement. When asked how he saw the situation, after a long silence, the husband muttered, “I was too tired from work …” As the wife fired back, Dr. Lee cut her off, “I think he is right!”

Dr. Lee taught us the use of personal judgement should be delicate, and this was one of her tricks to “give voice.” From a supportive nudge to a timid child to a stern demand to a rebellious spouse, “Our role is to give voice and revive dialogues.”


Before each live session, Dr. Lee would prep with therapists who referred the clients. She was adept in spotting patterns of situations, yet she remained genuinely delighted by the unknown. “Oh, isn’t it interesting? 😯” She would exclaim. “The more cases I see, the less certain I am. Isn’t it interesting?!”


“How can you help a deflated spouse discover her reality? What questions uncover the context of why he feels he doesn’t have enough attention? This is critical because how you see people in context influences how you communicate to them. It’s not what you say that matters.”

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