These days, these pandemic / lock down heavy days, I have two types of mornings.
Type 1:
- 430-5: Wake up
- 5-540: meditate
- 540-740: Breakfast, laundry, read, write
Type 2:
- 430-5: Wake up
- 5-7: Exercise
- 7-720: Meditate
- 720-740: Breakfast, laundry, read.
Why do I struggle with it? How am I struggling with it?
First, I dread type 2. I would start worrying about the next type 2 morning the moment I finish the workout. The workout is not tough at all. I know I feel good after it. Yet, I still get all anxious about it, constantly.
Second, I always feel unfulfilled after going through Type 1, even though I really look forward to it. I felt I hadn’t done much, that I didn’t make any intellectual breakthrough or didn’t profess any new wisdom.
It is fascinating how expectations work.
What are experiments I could try to change this? Specifically, are there things I can do to make me less anxious about workouts and less hopeful about the 2 hour reading and writing time?
Or, is it simply a matter of how I handle these inevitable emotions?
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