I Tried To Fix My Sink and Failed

Sharon took the kids to the in-laws and I had the morning to myself. I had plans- clean up the study, improve the wifi, re-organize the store room, fold laundry, etc.

Then I saw the sink was stuck. I decided to tackle it. I took the trap off, removed the gunk, but I could not put it back together. The bathroom was littered with decomposed hair, bottles, and other mysterious cleaning utensils. The sink could not be used. The mess became the perfect visual reminder of a failure. It could not be unseen.

I felt defeated and that feeling spiralled into this desire to do nothing. All the motivations vanished. And then, guilt took over.

It is annoying how the mood works. It went from hope to guilt in an instant. I now have to dig myself out of it.

While this was inconvenient, I should be glad it happened. I managed to notice how I reacted. I was aware of the guilt and shame. I got to experiment with methods I have hoarded from self help blogs to mitigate these emotions. The method I tested, was to write.

I must say, by now, at this point of this piece, I already feel better. I feel a bit less guilty about not wanting to do anything. I feel okay to take a nap, do nothing.

Maybe I am moving angst and guilt out of the way in order to make room for motivation to re-emerge.